See ya

I'm moving.

Follow me if you'd like.

Mood

This autumn, I'm feeling...

Music: anything by Kent; I suddenly miss that haunting, indie sound of theirs

Book: I'm gonna re-read "Chocolat" and not eat chocolate while at it

Film: "Iron Man 2", what else?

Food: I'm still rooting for a big bowl of puffing hot laksa from Laksa King; I've been rooting for it since maybe about a month ago

Place: Berlin; I got into this mini German phase when I found out there might be a family trip to Europe next year

Clothing items: corduroy pants, maroon-red jeans, lace-up knits and my yellow tennis shoes

Crappa

I feel like this blog is turning into a blah-blog. I'm not exactly motivated to update it anymore. I think I should turn it into a plog (red: photo blog) and then I can be more self-absorbed and have a blog full of pictures of myself.

I'm writing like a fricking martyr these days too. Like, I'd say something to look like I'm humble but in the end I just look like a bigger idiot than the next emo kid you see at the bus stop.

Hidden talent

I'm currently inspired by the Asian girl who can speak the language of any European country. The petite girl with shiny, black hair that falls freely down to her shoulders, porcelain-white skin and almond-shaped eyes.

She won't have to be necessarily 'fashionable'; in fact, she probably lives in her jeans, sweaters and sneakers. She is that traditional girl in her twenties who embraces her roots by always making time for her family and loves her dumplings.

But then she would take everyone by surprise when she starts speaking French or German fluently. She is well-travelled - having gone to the country of that second language she speaks more than once - and keeps the company of people from many different backgrounds.

What a breath of fresh air that is.

Dream a little dream

Hey dudes. It's been a while since my last real update.

I've come to that moment - at least at this point in life - where I'm itching to break out and just be free. I'm starting to question what is it that makes me truly happy, not just to make other people happy.

As I go to work 5 days a week, 9 to 5 every day, I start to question whether this job is really something I want or if it's just something that will pay the bills and impress my family and friends. It's true that it's work - you don't have to be particularly passionate about it and you don't always look forward going to it every morning - but the question starts to rise as to whether this is something I want in life.

And then I start thinking about the 'what ifs'. What if I get a job in something I am actually passionate about and then the mundane reality of going to it 5 days a week will take the magic away? What if that happens and that way I won't have that escape to what I love anymore? I get scared like that.

Sometimes I feel like it's right to keep dreams as just that. Because at least it's always going to be that happy little place you visit in your head to take the edge off reality when you need it most.

What?

How can a man have a completely black face with white neck?

And I'm not talking about RDJ as Sergeant Lincoln Osiris in "Tropic Thunder". This is a real guy I see on TV.

I hope this isn't deemed discriminating or something. I'm only writing what I saw.

My winter look

I had this epiphany yesterday that I’m going to wear quirky-patterned crew-neck jumpers with a good pair of jeans in winter. Then I’ll alternate between flats and my trusty loafers, depending on whether it’s super cold or not. Love it!

"The Nanny Returns"

I read "The Nanny Diaries" and quite liked the movie version, so the fact that a sequel to the story is out makes me somewhat excited. I can't wait till I get my hands on a copy.

(Image courtesy of amazon.com)

RDJ, anybody?

Those past negative posts weren't getting me anywhere, so I've decided to delete them altogether. I'm cluttering the blog with emo stuff and too much negativity is never good. Sasha's indecisive moment #84873401.

I've been in love with Robert Downey, Jr. lately. He's a fiercely talented actor and not to mention severely charming. Like, dude. I've been on an RDJ-movie-marathon for the past week, just digging up his films and watching them. It's actually a sort of an education for me as well, because I've always been stuck in the rom-com and superhero-action genres when it comes to films and since he's been in more films than my actual age, it's a good thing to see what he's done and in the process, explore different film genres.

Busybody

Happy X'mas!

For some reason, Christmas has always been a bit of a bittersweet time of the year for me. For quite some time, I couldn't exactly say why. It should always mean happy times with the family and fun, relaxing holiday. So I didn't know where the negativity came from; I just always felt down a little when the end of the year rolled in.

And then I figured it out: apart from the fact that my family will always seem to clash when they spend too much time together (it's unavoidable in every family, I've come to terms with that), but at the same time, Christmas means holidays. And while a holiday seems like a great time, to me time off means uselessness and boredom. I just realised today - of all days - that ever since I started kindergarten, I would have something to look forward to and would have some sort of purpose. It never occured to me to take a year off after high school; I didn't even know what 'gap year' was until my first year at uni. And that too was the exact reason why I enrolled in postgrad right after I finished my undergrad, because I wasn't quite ready for workforce yet but I know I'd just go crazy if I didn't have anything to do. I was feeling a bit depressed in the past 6 months because when I'd finished that postgrad, I felt like I didn't have anything to give myself some meaning. And when this new job finally came along, I felt not good, but actually content. It's like I've got purpose again.

And so I think it's safe for me for now to just keep doing something and not stop. Especially since I still have the energy to do it. I might even like to add something else to this work, just so I get even busier, maybe like a language course or one of those magazine publishing courses I saw being offered in RMIT. And then other days I'll do my weekly exercises, like bikram yoga classes or swimming.

I'm just looking forward to being busy again.

2010

What I'm looking forward to next year:

o Finally starting on my path to becoming rich (a girl needs her diamonds and couture, you see)
o Having a daily routine
o FIFA World Cup 2010 in South Africa
o New job
o Using my Moleskine monthly diary 2010 (yes, that's acutely important to me)
o Actually having New Year's Day, Australia Day, Labour Day, Easter weekend, ANZAC Day, Queen's Birthday, Cup Day and Christmas Day off
o Finally getting that Mulberry Bayswater bag
o It's my year, The Year of the Tiger! (I don't know how that will affect me, but let's hope it'll bring good luck, unlike that stupid belief that your Chinese year is always gonna be a bad year for you)

Basically there's not that many, but I just feel like 2010 sounds like a nice, round group of numbers. It will be 10 years since I moved to Melbourne and I think I can safely say things are gonna be all right. Not perfect and completely blissful, just okay.

The downside to it all

Is it wrong to think that maybe this job isn't all it's cracked up to be?

Don't get me wrong; I think it's a fantastic opportunity. But I took it because of the convenience. It's good money, big company and basically just good old showy job. I think I'm the envy of my friends for having been accepted into this. But what about what I like right now?

Maybe it's just the case of me having done something so long that I think that's all I like. I mean, I graduated with a degree in media and I've always loved writing. So maybe I just haven't seen what's out there. Maybe there are other things I'm gonna like apart from media, and this job is gonna show me.

But if it's the other way around, then what? What if I've been at this job for a year and I realise I wanna do writing all along? Basically, I would've wasted a year when I could've spent the time working my way up in the magazine/publishing industry.

I just hope it won't be the second one. Because I'd hate to see the haters right.

Victory!

I got my first full-time corporate job today!

It feels soooooooooooooooooooooooo good!

I'm gonna go as far as saying I'm choosing career over anything else right now. I'm gonna work my ass off to be able to save enough to buy my own place in 3 years. Just you wait and see.

Compulsion

Help! I can't stop eating the Grain Waves chips in Sour Cream & Chives flavour!

Prince of Persia

I've been watching the original version of the game Prince of Persia. I used to play it when I was little (or rather sent the poor guy going through the body guilottine). But it was always so much fun and watching it now is still pretty cool...

2004

This weekend I went back in time and read up on some of the things I wrote during the year 2004. That was actually quite a productive year for me and that's a miracle in itself, since I don't get up to much in my spare time.

Anyway, one of the things I wrote was this story about a band manager and the bands she works with. It's pure crap but I can't help remembering again how inspired I felt when I was writing it. And thanks to that, now I kind of want to write again. I'd love to re-write the whole story again and make it less crap, especially while this inspired feeling is still around. So this is probably going to be my personal project for the next couple of months now.

Hermit no more

This was from today. I think it's pretty obvious that I was seriously stoked to be out of the house after having stayed in for the past 3 days.

What's new pussycat?

It's been the worst week ever. I have been - I kid you not - staying at home for the past 3 days. The only time I went out was to go jogging, and that was only around the neighbourhood.

I've been obsessed watching "Brothers & Sisters". Budi was right when he said I'd like it; I really love it now. It's a whole new way to compare your family to what's presented in the media and feel even worse about your own because you know something just ain't right about your favourite uncle or your biological grandmother. Whatever; the main point is, I still get self-destructive sometimes when I watch TV series like that because it just makes me think even more that my life is anything but normal. Don't mean to go emo on you now.

Other than that, I've been obsessed with finding an office job. It's pretty daunting the fact that all my mates are starting their first full-time job. And an office job seems to be the way to go because it makes you feel better about yourself. I've been doing the freelancing thing for the past year now (and it took me one whole year to realise that it's been a freelance job, ding ding, I should get a prize to have guessed that right) and I think a little bit of routine in my life is what's best for me right now. 9 to 5 job sounds to me like a candy store sounds to a six-year-old fat boy.

I think I'm getting sarcastic again.

Love me for my lack of taxpack

Okay, great, so apparently the tax office is now too lazy to send out the taxpack to our address, so we're now supposed to go to newsagents and grab our own copy.

I guess the tax office can then say, "Okay, great, so apparently Sasha is now too lazy to go and take a walk down to her nearest newsagent and grab a copy of the taxpack".

It's a lose-lose situation.

Anyway...

Sunday
9 AM: Camberwell Market
1 PM: lunch with Ms Editor and kids

Monday
12 PM: apply for graduation and enrolment (yep, didn't think that would go in the same sentence, either)
5.30 PM - 12 AM: work

Tuesday
1 PM: appointment with plumber
5.30 PM - 12 AM: work

Wednesday & Thursday
12 PM - 12 AM: work

As you can see, I'm leading a fabulous, busy life. Not.

Pizza and flu

This was probably the best pizza I've had in a while. My sister made it with simple pita bread, tomato paste and cheese. Super yummo.

So much has been happening in the past month. But I guess there's no point talking about them because, well, they're in the past.

I can hear people coughing, throwing up and sneezing outside my house. Swine flu, anybody?