Busybody

Happy X'mas!

For some reason, Christmas has always been a bit of a bittersweet time of the year for me. For quite some time, I couldn't exactly say why. It should always mean happy times with the family and fun, relaxing holiday. So I didn't know where the negativity came from; I just always felt down a little when the end of the year rolled in.

And then I figured it out: apart from the fact that my family will always seem to clash when they spend too much time together (it's unavoidable in every family, I've come to terms with that), but at the same time, Christmas means holidays. And while a holiday seems like a great time, to me time off means uselessness and boredom. I just realised today - of all days - that ever since I started kindergarten, I would have something to look forward to and would have some sort of purpose. It never occured to me to take a year off after high school; I didn't even know what 'gap year' was until my first year at uni. And that too was the exact reason why I enrolled in postgrad right after I finished my undergrad, because I wasn't quite ready for workforce yet but I know I'd just go crazy if I didn't have anything to do. I was feeling a bit depressed in the past 6 months because when I'd finished that postgrad, I felt like I didn't have anything to give myself some meaning. And when this new job finally came along, I felt not good, but actually content. It's like I've got purpose again.

And so I think it's safe for me for now to just keep doing something and not stop. Especially since I still have the energy to do it. I might even like to add something else to this work, just so I get even busier, maybe like a language course or one of those magazine publishing courses I saw being offered in RMIT. And then other days I'll do my weekly exercises, like bikram yoga classes or swimming.

I'm just looking forward to being busy again.

2010

What I'm looking forward to next year:

o Finally starting on my path to becoming rich (a girl needs her diamonds and couture, you see)
o Having a daily routine
o FIFA World Cup 2010 in South Africa
o New job
o Using my Moleskine monthly diary 2010 (yes, that's acutely important to me)
o Actually having New Year's Day, Australia Day, Labour Day, Easter weekend, ANZAC Day, Queen's Birthday, Cup Day and Christmas Day off
o Finally getting that Mulberry Bayswater bag
o It's my year, The Year of the Tiger! (I don't know how that will affect me, but let's hope it'll bring good luck, unlike that stupid belief that your Chinese year is always gonna be a bad year for you)

Basically there's not that many, but I just feel like 2010 sounds like a nice, round group of numbers. It will be 10 years since I moved to Melbourne and I think I can safely say things are gonna be all right. Not perfect and completely blissful, just okay.

The downside to it all

Is it wrong to think that maybe this job isn't all it's cracked up to be?

Don't get me wrong; I think it's a fantastic opportunity. But I took it because of the convenience. It's good money, big company and basically just good old showy job. I think I'm the envy of my friends for having been accepted into this. But what about what I like right now?

Maybe it's just the case of me having done something so long that I think that's all I like. I mean, I graduated with a degree in media and I've always loved writing. So maybe I just haven't seen what's out there. Maybe there are other things I'm gonna like apart from media, and this job is gonna show me.

But if it's the other way around, then what? What if I've been at this job for a year and I realise I wanna do writing all along? Basically, I would've wasted a year when I could've spent the time working my way up in the magazine/publishing industry.

I just hope it won't be the second one. Because I'd hate to see the haters right.

Victory!

I got my first full-time corporate job today!

It feels soooooooooooooooooooooooo good!

I'm gonna go as far as saying I'm choosing career over anything else right now. I'm gonna work my ass off to be able to save enough to buy my own place in 3 years. Just you wait and see.