Confused?

I swear to God, sometimes I feel like I should've been born as a boy.

I'm not a domestic person at all - I don't cook, I don't iron, I don't do laundry, I don't make my own bed; I don't have the niceness that girls do where they greet people they know, and instead I ignore them (which probably means I'm bitchy and that's just about the only thing that defines me as a girl); and for the mercy of all things good and nice, I don't groom myself until quite recently, and yes, in case anybody's forgotten, I'm well in my 20s. Today's girls already know how to put on mascara when they're still in their nappies.

Oh, and I forgot to mention this one little gem: my parents were expecting a boy when they had me. That was until I went out and they saw that I will never have the tendency to grow a penis. For five days I was the baby with no name because nobody in the family had prepared a girl's name.

I'm just waiting for the day that gay guys will start falling in love with me. And that's likely, you know, since I have quite a few gay friends.

Ah, someone slap me.