The ballad of the sorry

So I just heard more stories tonight about a certain unfortunate person. Let's just call him Sorry Ass.

To give a bit of a background story, this Sorry Ass tries to start a magazine. Let's just call this sorry creation Ass Wipe. He enlisted my help as the editor. I helped him in vain for 7 months before I realised he doesn't know shit about doing business in general. So I quit.

It's been 3 months now since then and Sorry Ass has found the guy who took over the editor job. Let's just call him Mo-Editor. One day, Mo-Editor and Sorry Ass were meeting a potential client to fund Ass Wipe. This forms case number 1.

The potential client asked Sorry Ass: "So why do you think I should place my ad in Ass Wipe? What good is it gonna do me?"

Sorry Ass answered nervously in broken English: "Ass Wipe is so good. It is very elite. The articles we carry are only about high-end luxury brands like Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton..."

"Yeah, I know. But those are articles. You guys don't actually have ads by them," the potential client said.

Sorry Ass was desperate: "But Ass Wipe is even better than Harper's Bazaar!"

And with that, according to my source, the potential client pulled out of the deal.

Case number 2. Sorry Ass has this acute dislike for a certain media competitor. Let's just call it Toilet Paper. Toilet Paper is actually quite successful as a media brand, except that, well, it's made out of newspaper and so I think it's best used only for toilet business, just like Ass Wipe. Anyway, basically Sorry Ass hates Toilet Paper's editors with a passion and thinks that Ass Wipe is already better than Toilet Paper, even though Ass Wipe hasn't put out one issue yet.

And so Sorry Ass thinks whoever works with him on Ass Wipe absolutely cannot write for Toilet Paper. Which is exactly what Mo-Editor did. Now I don't know if Mo-Editor did it out of spite or if it was just purely coincidental. But basically Sorry Ass went nuts and told off Mo-Editor, saying that he couldn't write for any other media other than for Ass Wipe. Mo-Editor was said to be confused because in his contract with Ass Wipe, there was never any obligation to write only for Ass Wipe and not for other media.

Mo-Editor has been heard saying to his friend that he wants to quit Ass Wipe. Not one issue is out yet but two editors are already walking out of the project.

On to case number 3. Sorry Ass has just done the second dummy of the magazine and all he's got in it are articles which are poorly edited and 5 pages of copies from a dated LV catalogue. I am so sorry to admit that when I was still working with Sorry Ass, I tried to defend the first version of the dummy which looked a lot like this in front of my friends, saying that it was just a 'work in progress'. Now I've learnt my lesson and found that this is actually Sorry Ass' definition of Vogue, or in his words, Harper's Bazaar.

And the icing on top of the cake is case number 4: it's been almost a year since the idea to start Ass Wipe was thought up, but until now Sorry Ass hasn't even registered an Australian Business Number yet. The reason? Because Sorry Ass is the director of the Ass Wipe brand and so he can do whatever the hell he wants.

Including putting himself in jail if they find that he was practising business without licence.

I just love stories like these. I did say pointing out people's mistakes are useless, but this is more like knowing that at least there are people more unfortunate than us so we should be grateful with what we have.

Nauseating hopes

So this is my 100th post! Hmm, I guess this is a big milestone, more than my 600th tweet on Twitter.

Anyway, I've been feeling a bit dizzy and nauseous lately; I guess it's from my lack of exercising and I keep eating junk with little to no fruit and vegetable intake. That and lack of caffeine. I realise my body is starting to depend heavily on the stuff now.

Apart from that, it's another 2 weeks till Jakarta. I cannot wait. I'm looking forward to shopping, eating donuts and other junk, more shopping, more eating donuts and other junk and going to the salon to get my hair done and manicure pedicure. Oh, and I think I should make a list of things to eat while I'm there.

I'm serious.

Compulsion

Help! I can't stop eating the Grain Waves chips in Sour Cream & Chives flavour!

Prince of Persia

I've been watching the original version of the game Prince of Persia. I used to play it when I was little (or rather sent the poor guy going through the body guilottine). But it was always so much fun and watching it now is still pretty cool...

Blogging while away

I think I'm gonna try and update this often when I go to Singapore and Jakarta in 2 weeks. Not that it's gonna be as exciting as a travel blog if one goes to somewhere like Europe or the US, but still. I thought I'd record stuff so when I'm back in Melbourne doing nothing, I can read about the fun again.

Yep, sounds like a plan.

Anyway, saw "Valentino: The Last Emperor" last night. It was an entertaining film, although I still enjoy "The September Issue" a lot more.

Past couple of weeks

I've been reading my friends' blogs and I decided I wanna write in mine too.

So it's been going really well the past couple of weeks. As I last wrote here, we got our PR and I finished my master so to cut long story short, I've finished school forever. And then my sister got her dream house and it's a wicked little dwelling with the perfect view and all. It really does remind us of our childhood home back in Jakarta.

Then I had my birthday last weekend and it was plain wild. I think I can safely say people had a good time there. I think I can categorically say that it was the best birthday I've ever had, because it was, ironically enough, far from perfect. The day started off with me super sleepy with a headache then my parents and my sister wished me happy birthday; had breakfast then got down to business making food for the party that night; mum and dad started fighting over who got to mix the eggs with the pepper; got ready and left for yum cha and it was so very nice; opened presents; went home and ate my birthday cake, mango gateau! Went out, bought beer and ice; drove to the hotel; panicked over how to hide the 24 bottles of beer in the suitcase; checked in, complete with my mum trying to take over the whole process; family out, friends in; spent time with them before getting ready; people started coming and finally the party started; tired mixed with alcohol equals me drunk and passing out crying. It was ups and downs, highs and lows all rolled into one day. And that's okay; I think I'm starting to learn how to embrace imperfection. It's my life, it's anybody's life and I gotta stop striving for 24/7 poise and grace and just allow myself to let go.

Anyway, I'm going to Singapore and Jakarta in 3 weeks. I got a crazy deal for the flight, and I ain't paying nothing for accommodation in Singapore, so it's great. I hope I got enough money when I'm there so I can shop like nuts!

So anyway, I think things are going well. But I can't help thinking all the time when will the other shoe drop? I'm pessimistic that way and I sometimes think that things are too good to be true. I guess you can't blame me for thinking like that after the past 10 years of drama. But let's hope things are gonna be fine in the long-term. Not perfect, just fine.